Pastor Ponderings #174: Gethsemane Grace

I once had someone approach me after a Sunday service and tell me a gripping account of his life story complete with mafia gangs, near death experiences, job turnovers, breakthroughs, breakups and a recent robbery. It was a fascinating roller-coaster-type story which had the makings of a book contract. Apparently, this had all produced a tenuous but strengthening relationship with the Lord. Oh, and a desperate need for some financial aid to provide for some immediate needs that couldn’t wait until Monday. I obliged.

It was later that week or the next that he came to see me again with a new chapter of dire circumstances which had conspired against him to such a degree that he was compelled to ask for additional financial assistance. Other family members had amazing challenges of their own which had manifested just at the same time to prevent them from being able to offer support. I was assured that come payday I would be made whole as he was on the cusp of receiving more than enough to recoup all outstanding debts. I obliged.

I don’t remember which day was his apparent payday, but I did assume he meant that same week. Perhaps it was only my assumption. Maybe he meant weeks from then, or even months or years. He didn’t say and I haven’t heard from him since. I haven’t heard from him personally, but just this week I heard about him. I recently discovered he has been to see others with a story of my kindness and saying that I had instructed him to go see them for money. I did not.

How should we respond when we are wronged, mistreated, cheated or abused? In my case, I was told lies and misrepresented. I can stop interacting with this individual. I can assure others that I haven’t sent him to exploit their generosity. Yet these actions only prevent future harm or hurt. How does one deal with the harm and hurt already caused? I must forgive.

If this individual came and repaid all with interest, it wouldn’t make the hurt disappear or the lies true. If he returned to others and told them I had not actually sent him, it would not return things to the time before it happened. I must forgive. He can do nothing to fix what is now upset or disturbed in me. I must forgive. In forgiveness, I release him from the obligation to fix what he is incapable of fixing, and I accept the responsibility to bear the pain caused by another without bitterness.

Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane, prayed three times to have the approaching pain of His crucifixion averted or avoided.

Matthew 26:39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”

He chose, however, to accept it and bear it. This decision, or surrender of the will, did not remove or relieve the hurt or harm coming to Him in any way. He accepted and bore the pain that was owed to others. Such an act of selflessness is unthinkable apart from the grace of God. Especially as we consider the potency of grace needed to bear my sin and yours and the sin of every sinner who ever sinned a sin. Great was this Gethsemane grace.

In a small, but not dissimilar way, we do the same when we consider how others have sinned against us. We are confronted with our own Gethsemane. Can you accept the punishment or pain the offender deserves to bear? Choose to accept it and release the offender. God will give grace, and you will release yourself in the process. Then you take those cares and cast them on Jesus who cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6 “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

To walk in forgiveness, you must accept the hurt and release the culprit of the debt they owe so you can be free of the prison of bitterness. As someone has said before, *“Bitterness is like drinking poison in hope that the offender will die.”*. The only one suffering is the one drinking the poison. Put the poison down. Forgive and be free. Rejoice in the potency and liberty of Gethsemane grace.